The Other Side of Target

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90 minutes. That is how long my daughter’s most recent tantrum lasted. 90 minutes. At a Target parking lot to top it off. 90 minutes. That’s stamina.

What is it she wanted you ask? A $3 hat. All was going well on this Target shopping trip and then came time to checkout. She decided one hat wasn’t enough and she now wanted two hats. 4-year olds cannot see well into the future. She failed to realize that I am the holder of the money, I am the decision maker, and most important, I am the adult. I told the cashier to take the hats back, we would not be purchasing them and that is when it started. 2:00 pm on a sunny Sunday afternoon in Target. Tantrum. Full blown.

I am, for the most part, a pretty level headed parent. And I remained one this entire tantrum while on the inside screaming and wondering if I was a bad mother for doing this to her. “What’s the big deal? Just go back inside and get the hat!” It is so hard to watch your child struggle, even in situations like this, with the hurt and angst that I had somewhat caused. Mom fail. Deep down I know this is all part of growing up and learning. Sure isn’t easy though, being a parent. It hurts to have to be tough on them when all you want to do is give them the world. And it’s hard. So hard. To go nonstop when all you want to do is take a much overdo nap. The book What to Expect When You’re Expecting is followed up by other helpful books to mothers as your child grows. I feel they are missing one crucial point in all of them though, “moms, this is going to be the most challenging thing you will ever do in your life and, at times, it’s going to suck.” It is okay to admit that being a mother is backbreaking. On so many levels. And guess what, everyone else agrees, even if they don’t say it out loud. But 100% worth it all. I wouldn’t change one ounce of it because I love being a mother. It is the best thing to ever happen to me. She is the best thing to ever happen to me.

After those 90 minutes were over, we discussed the situation. She used her words to the best of her capabilities and I was proud of that young little girl. Looking into those big beautiful, teary blue eyes I see her smile. She knows it is all going to be okay, and that her mommy loves her no matter what. And I never miss an opportunity to tell her that.

How did we wrap that chaotic moment in time? We had our weekly mother and daughter date at Starbucks. Buttered croissant and chocolate milk for the kiddo and I will have a caramel frappuccino light, decaf please.

Target

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Target. On the mark.

They know what they’re doing. What exactly that is, I still haven’t fully quite figured out. Why do us women like it so much? Yes, I said women specifically. Women have a sever passion for Target. Target draws women in like moths to flames. It calls to them.

When I know I get to go to Target, something inside me does a little happy dance. I prefer to go alone, with no time restraints, and ideally, a couple extra dollars to spend. I am armed with my Cartwheel app and a shopping cart because let’s be real, I won’t be leaving empty handed. Who does that?!

I don’t necessarily have to go to a particular spot right away, but there are aisles I will definitely not miss. Target Dollar Spot. Shoes. Jewelry. Clearance. I just love to see that red sale sticker.

But what is it? When I asked fellow Targetonians, this is what I got:

“I think because it’s clean and bright. And there’s so much cute stuff. Like the dollar spot and the gift ideas and everything. It’s like all the good stuff about Walmart without the crap quality and poor customer service.” -Rachel

“They seem to keep a higher quality product in the beauty dept, home dept is always on trend with colors and styles, they get amazing collaborations in the clothing deptpis, and they carried the ’boutique’ brands in the baby dept – California baby – first.” -Deja

Target, I am not going to try to understand your ins and outs, I will leave that to you. As for me, step aside, I must shop.

 

(For a great article, click here, just solidifies everything!)

That Mom…

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Just a couple thoughts I would like to share from you from one of my favorite authors Ellen Miller. I am trying not to be that mom…

“Successing Our Kids to Failure or Failing Our Kids to Success?”

We fail our children when we don’t allow them to fail.

We have failed and are failing our children by getting overly involved in their lives, which deprives them of vital experience in navigating life when things get tough.

Kids are not allowed to be average and have never been told that they are anything other than excellent at everything.

How does this affect kids later on? They glide on with a sense of entitlement that is embarrassing.

“Moms, they’re going to be closer to perfect after experiencing a little bit of failure and humility.”

 

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Fist Bump

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Ya, I’m fine.

“Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. And the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God’s promises to be fulfilled.” (Romans 15:4)

Everyone has ups and downs. Every single day presents a wonderful set of new experiences and maybe even a few trials thrown in there. I feel the need to keep my stress with me at all times. In my mind, if I let it go, I will forget about it and it will not get taken care of. I have to stress, worry, and fret, otherwise chaos will ensue. That’s logical right? Then, there is the other mindset of let that stuff go. What good does worrying about things do for you? I am torn.

My mind is constantly going. All the time. Thinking, pondering, dreaming, planning and yes, worrying. It never stops. Ever. I dream every night and remember my dreams. Most of the time I am forecasting; thinking ahead of what might happen. I like to try to plan so I am not caught off guard. You see, if I am not prepared, then I will fail. The exact thing I am stressing about will come true! More logic.

I don’t think I am going too far out on a limb by assuming most women can relate. I am not about to negate yours or my feelings because I know they are important and some are quite valid. What I am going to do though is say chill! How much time and energy have you and I wasted? What else could you have done with that precious time? We have to learn to live in the moment because life is passing us by rapidly.

But how? Very good question and if you have the answer to end all stress, please, pass that along. Until there is some magical cure for this, I choose to find my happy medium. The things I really “need” to stress about I write down, the other things, the what-if this or that happens, say peace out. There is some statistic that states 85% of what we worry about never really happens. That’s a whole lot of time I could be spending reading the new In Style magazine or on Pinterest.

What is the point of all this? Don’t rob yourself the joy of life. Fist bump and move on.

 

 

Are You Kidding Me…

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Not fair!

I can’t be the only adult who has muttered those two words recently.

It seems that I am always having to be the “bigger person” and turn the other cheek. I would much rather prefer karma come immediately while I sit and watch with a bag of popcorn.

Why do I have to be the one who makes the right decision? Others don’t!

I knew this truth many years ago but let me tell you, this last year has really been the momentS of truth. Yes, I meant to capitalize that letter. Time and time again I have been faced with taking the adult route or taking the middle school route. I have been treated unfairly. Others do not seem to have to deal with these type of situations. Why me?

True, my circumstances are sometimes not ideal, but in the grand scheme of things, I am richly blessed. There are others all around who would love to trade spots with me. This is not to minimize my plight or yours, this is just to bring us all back to reality. I am one to often fly off the handle and react in the heat of the moment. I let my emotions take over and 99% of the time makes things worse. I finally let some consistent advice sink in. Slow down, take your time, and “proof” yourself. So that is what I am doing and suggest you do the same. Take a breath. Sleep on it. Jot down notes. Because guess what, you getting unreasonably angry, hurts you the most.

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Do you want to win? Come on, you know you do. Win by letting go what you have no control of and trusting in your honorable actions. And, a little thing called karma!

Give Me A Break!

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Being a mother. Wow. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would have such feelings that are so indescribable, even to other parents. The love I have for my children literally fills my heart every day. It is an honor. With that said, man, I need a vacation!

I have found it to be almost taboo to vocalize my stress, my anxiety, my sheer exhaustion of being a single parent. I often get asked, “why are you so tired?” How dare I admit to the world that yes, I do fall short and yes I do need a break once in a while. And guess what, it is completely normal to need me time. But I also know I am my own worst critic. Aren’t we all? I am constantly telling myself “you should try harder,” “you need to be more focused on your children,” “put down your phone,” “feed them better,” “make it to church every Sunday!” The list goes on.

This week I have had countless stories, sermons, devotions and conversations with others that only prove God knows my heart and wants me to give myself a break.

Let me share a few of the examples I have recently read (see image below). Both from the book The One Year Book of Inspiration for Girlfriends by Ellen Miller:

“If I could do it over, we would have skipped church.”
“There is something magical and, of course, sacred, about Sunday mornings. Everything seems to move at a little slower pace; the sun shines sweetly through the windows, and everything is at peace.”
“Just as it is sacred for us to take one day a week to take the time to thank God and worship Him, I think he’d be so pleased and blessed to watch us take this sacred day, one day a month, to focus on our families.” 

As a Christian, I know how monumental it is to raise our children in the church. The lessons they will learn are priceless. But EVERY Sunday? Really? Do I have to? This mama needs rest. And you know what, that is ok! I am allowed.

“Every minute of every day, choose to enjoy who you are and where you are.”
“I was pedaling too fast in every aspect of my life. If I could do it over, I would pedal slower in my head! My panic robbed me of the glorious experiences because I often wasn’t present in the moment. It was panic that I wasn’t fulfilling every obligation 100 percent that robbed me of glorious experiences by not being present with the person in front of me.” 

Anyone else with me on this?

I think we must always strive to be the best version of ourselves but also realize to stop, slow down, breath, and look at the world around you. Enjoy the moments. And don’t be so hard on yourself!

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Hollywood History

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I do not like school. I do not like reading what I’m told to read or trying to meet some deadline. I do not like to being judged on my ability to retain information that I do not care about. It’s just setting us up to be disappointed in ourselves. It reinforces insecurities.
That being said, I made the choice to subject myself to this cruel and unusual torture for FIVE years while I went to college. I was the WORST student. I never went to class, I didn’t attend sporting events, and I never even considered joining a sorority. I didn’t even walk for graduation. I decided the that obtaining that oh-so-important piece of paper was sufficient for a college career, no bells and whistles. But what was I going to study? My first semester of gen-ed had me frequenting a few too many late night bars and working on assignments when…

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